A Fond Farewell To A Friend
The Chicgo Tribune and the Daily Illini (link not posted because it's the worst publication on Earth) are reporting tonight that Chief Illiniwek, mascot and source of heated debate, will be retired. I find little solace in the fact that I saw Chief Illiniwek perform at halftime for four football games and one basketball game. It's terribly disappointing to know that a tradition that dates back to 1926 has been ended by what can be described as nothing less than a tyrannical minority usurping the wishes of a perfectly reasonable majority. Seven out of ten Illinois students favored retention of the Chief, but it doesn't even matter.
In any case, it's time to move on. Let's start kicking around ideas for new mascots. I'm thinking:
- Drinkin' Lincoln.
- A leprechaun. They're not racist. Ask Notre Dame.
- A big pansy. It'd typify the people that U of I wants us to be.
- Rockin' Rod Blagojevich, Patron Saint of Illogika
Beyond livid at this point. Not really about the Chief, just the sheer, unmitigated gall of the radical left. Hell, even the not-so-radical left. Where does it stop?