UGO Made Me Rant
I was reading Scott's blog entry about UGO's pick of the top 11 U2 songs of all time. Of course, the correct answer is that none of them are good after '97. Anyway. I decided to thumb through some of their other Top 11 lists, and I came up with a list of my own: The Top 6 Stupidest Lists UGO Has Made. Without further ado:
- The Top 11 Songs of the 80s.: At first, I thought this list might be worth something. Songs 11 through 9 were songs that weren't obvious, so it looked like the list could deviate from the norm. Nope. The next 8 read like a VH1 playlist: One Night In Bangkok (it comes from a musical called Chess, ok?!); Come On, Eileen; Land Down Under; Thriller (?!); Hungry Like The Wolf; Safety Dance (?!); Don't You Forget About Me; and Take On Me.
No Smiths at all? Come on.
- The Top 11 Songs of the '90s: At this point, making a top 11 of the '90s is like making a top 11 of U2 songs: not a whole lot from which to draw, and what is good, nobody has heard of. Notable entries include Barbie Girl, Build a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might be Giants, and... ugh... Smells Like Teen Spirit. To quote High Fidelity, "Oh, that's not obvious enough [UGO]. How about the Beatles? Or fucking... fucking Beethoven? Side one, Track one of the Fifth Symphony... How can someone with no interest in music [write a list of the top 11 songs of anything]?" (bracketed items were added for relevance). Interestingly enough, Radiohead's Paranoid Android snagged a spot, but that's a cop out. Yeah, it was good, but what about The Tourist or Let Down?
- The Top 11 Scariest Songs: Part II: Because one wasn't enough. This stupid list includes Lover I Don't Have to Love, which, as we all remember, is a great song to get down to and is also the only good Bright Eyes song. UGO shouldn't make girls think that this song is scary; that's totally going to ruin the ambiance. Also included is Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt, which was less scary than it was depressing.
- Top 11 Scariest Songs: Part I: Included on this list is Thriller and Radiohead's Paperbag Writer. First the latter, then the former. Radiohead's Paperbag Writer was creepy, but not nearly as creepy as Creep (a song about obsession), Climbing Up The Walls (a song inspired by Thom Yorke's stint working in a mental hospital), or Talk Show Host ("I'll be waiting/ with a gun and a pack of sandwiches"). It's not that it was a bad choice, it's just that there are better choices. Unlike Thriller. That was a bad choice. I'm about as scared of Thriller as I am of a Nerf ball.
- The Top 11 Breakup Songs: Once again, way obvious. I Will Survive, Ace of Base's The Sign... well, obvious and bad. The number one choice was a shocker, however, and I do support it. Hence the low rating on the Stupid Scale. It's Ben Folds Five's Evaporated. Good song, and way less obvious and stupid than Song For The Dumped.
- Top 11 U2 Songs: What a useless list. Why not list the Top 11 Abba Songs or the Top 11 Robert Palmer Songs? Stupid.
Comments
I suggest you never again question Men With Hats.....or you'll be leaving your friends behind.
Posted by: Gregory Clayton Jackson | July 16, 2006 11:09 AM
Keep up the great work on your blog. Best wishes WaltDe
Posted by: WaltDe | August 31, 2006 10:32 PM